24 HR

My 24 HR run turned out to be only about 10.5 hours. I ended up running about 100k in a little under 10 hours and then walking until about 65 miles somewhere around 7:30 at night. I couldn't believe the race still wasn't even halfway over. The first couple hours had gone by fast, leading me to think- ah look at that, 1/24th of the way done already and I just started! 1/12th of the way done and wasn't that easy! Once at 10 hours though reality was sinking in. I haven't even run half of forever yet, just 10/24ths of forever. Feels like the same thing. My quads had been tightening up for awhile and I had been fighting it but by 65 miles I pretty much couldn't run anymore. I wanted to walk for awhile but Joel didn't want me to injure myself if I couldn't make the world standard- 120 miles, so he would rather I stopped.  I was pretty disappointed and it was hard for me to disapoint Joel and Jim and I was feeling guilty that meant we would have to get a hotel for the night which would cost even more money. But I was not quite physically or mentally ready to make it.
I felt proud that I had tried at least and made a very good effort at reaching the distance, covering half the distance I would need in about 10 hours. I didn't mean to but I was leading the race for the first 8 hours. Maybe because as Jim says- I don't know how to run slow. It didn't feel like I was running fast- it felt normal. I don't like to force myself to run slower than what feels normal- it makes me cranky and it makes my legs cranky. Joel made me do a 21 mile run where I had to run 10 minute pace and it was one of the hardest runs I've ever done. It felt even worse than when I used to sprint 21 mile long runs at 7 minute pace. My legs were aching after only about 10 miles of that run and when I tried to pick it up to run even like 9:30s it felt like I was running up a wall.
I'm also disappointed I missed the night run. I like running after dark, seems faster when you can't really see where you are going. Also the weather during the day was hot and also windy so I was both hot and cold at the same time and ended up with a worse sunburn across my shoulders than the pain in my legs. Both of which hurt very badly and kept me up that night, thinking of those still running.
I am going to do a couple 12 hour runs to practice and then try again next year. Hey it's a little crazy to do a 24 hour run when you've never even done a 100k- at least I have now completed one of those! And the nice thing about the 24 hour run is that even if you stop after less than that hours you still technically finished. When everyone asks you how your race went you don't have to tell them you didn't finish and most people still seem to be impressed when you say you only ran 65 miles.
The race went on to be won by Sabrina Moran in a new American record of 147 miles. I feel good about being able to run with her for even 1/3 of the race. I think it means I have a good future in the 24 hr distance as there is not another race I could lead the American record holder for even a 1/3 of the distance. I couldn't run a 4:40 mile to lead the 5k, couldn't run 5:18 pace for 9 miles in the marathon ( or even 1), and I don't think I could even run the record mile pace if I sprinted my guts out for 100 meters.

Some girls chase boys, I pass them

I must be the biggest freak in the world, according to the media
Why??
Because I don't have a boyfriend. Because I've had very few in my whole life, and none until I was 20, gasp! Because I don't start every day with the attitude- what could I do today to make the guys like me. And I admit- because I still struggle at age 25 to find a single character I can relate to.
It's hard to find many people to relate to when you are an ultra runner. Imagine if you greeted those you meet with, "Hi, I'm Emily, my biggest goal is to run for 24 hours!" You probably wouldn't get a lot of dates either. Which is fine, just fine. That doesn't make me a freak does it? It just means it's hard to find someone who you like who also likes you. Maybe I am a little busy running 24 hours a day, maybe I have other things on my mind. But according to every TV show, every movie and almost every book I read none of that could possibly be true. The only explanation is that I must be a freak, the biggest freak in the world- the 25 year old woman without a man!
I like shows about women/girls with goals like me. They don't have to be about sports but sometimes they are. I liked to watch Make it or Break it on ABC family. It was always a bit over the top with the drama and there were of course boy love interests even though the show was about teen gymnasts training for the Olympics who weren't allowed to date. But I put up with that because the boy issues were less than on other teen shows and because the show had a shining exception to every TV land girl that had been shoved down my throat thus far. Her name was Payson Keeler and she didn't care about boys or drama, she only cared about gymnastics and making it to the Olympics.
TV along time ago used to shun showing teenagers drinking or doing drugs or being promiscuous. Then there was a rebellion against that and the tables swung in the complete opposite direction. These days it is hard to find a teenage character who does not drink or sleep around. Payson wasn't like that though. She truly did just train and think about training and love training. I was in love. Here, even though I was in my mid twenties, was finally a girl I could relate to. A girl who wasn't a freak, who was such lovely words as dedicated, self motivated and sacrificing. She didn't want to have a boyfriend- she wanted to think about training. She didn't want the drama to distract her. And she definitely didn't want to end up like her friend Emily Kmetko- pregnant right before the Olympics. But, like all other characters that have come before her it couldn't last. Any show that claims at first to be about one thing always descends eventually into 'the boyfriend show.' The front she was putting up of having goals that were more important than having a boyfriend at age 16 was just to cover up her insecurities about boys not liking her. Of course, in TV land, when any girl finds out that a boy could like her she will throw away any such nonsense goals about making it to the Olympics right out the window. Payson got a boyfriend- just like every "normal" teenage girl in TV land America and right away she started acting different. She started sneaking out when the coach wanted them to stay in and get a good night's rest. She stopped thinking about training and practicing her routine before bed and just stayed out late making out with her new boyfriend. Then, just a couple weeks before the Olympic cuts were announced she decided to sleep with her new boyfriend, something she had even earlier in the episode been against because of the physical and emotional changes it could bring to her at such a crucial point in her life.
The message I got from this was clear- no matter what a girl's other goals are- they are less important than having a boyfriend. Any girl who claims otherwise is just afraid of being rejected. If you don't have a boyfriend when you are a teenager you are the only girl in America because even the girls practicing gymnastics for 8 hours a day, who are forbidden to date and truly do dream of bigger things have them. And it's all they talk about.
There's nothing wrong with having a boyfriend, there's nothing wrong with them showing girls on TV with them but there's also nothing wrong with not having one. With not showing every girl on TV with one. To make a girl's storyline be about her and not about the men in her life.
There used to be no respect for a girl/woman who slept with someone before she was married. That was extreme but what we have now is also extreme. There is no respect for a girl/woman who doesn't. The so called feminist movement in the US would have you believe that there is no psychological or emotional difference between men and women. That in order for women to be strong, to get ahead in the world, to be "liberated" is to act just like men do. I was called out by one of my professors in college because I was acting "girly." I said- "I am a girl, what is wrong with that?" In some ways I feel sexism is even worse in this country than racism because other races and ethnicities are recognized at least somewhat( though not enough) for the different cultures they have that they bring to the dominant society that are worthwhile. In Chinese or Japanese culture for example teamwork is valued, and putting the good of the whole above the individual. This is different than US culture but is valuable and teaches us something and should be respected. But when it comes to women's culture the prevailing attitude is- they should not act like women, not if they want to get ahead in this world. You want to be "liberated" you need to act like men do, never mind that there are biological differences that may make you not want to act this way. To act like a woman is to be weak.
I think women are naturally strong. I like that we tend to take relationships and our bodies more seriously. Women are natural caregivers and bring many wonderful things to society just like men do.
We also have goals. Some of us have goals that have nothing to do with what society tells us is important- getting guys to like us no matter what the sacrifice to ourselves and our own dreams.
I believe girls and women should be able to choose whether they want to have boyfriends or not and not let some bigwig writer tell them they are a freak for choosing the 24 hour run over a lifetime of chasing boys.